|Sweet Glory when she still had two eyes……|
How often do I run blindly in one direction only to find God isn’t there? How often do I run blindly in the other direction only to discover I am off course? How often do I turn in yet another direction to remember I shouldn’t have gone that way? And how often do I finally, at last, only because I am tenacious and God is loving, merciful, and patient, crash into the greatest source of love there is, and the only source of true, legitimate, real, genuine, authentic, everlasting love there is? God Himself. And I, like Glory, cannot walk by sight. Because I cannot see God. And often I find myself running after things and people I can see, thinking I will find the answer there. To no avail, of course. Then, like Glory, I run in another direction. I only wish I could say my tail wags as I run in the next direction. But Glory, on her mission, always has a happy, joyful, disposition, utterly convinced she will find her source of love if she doesn’t give up. She is not discouraged that she made the mistake of running the wrong way yet again. She is only ever more convinced she must find the right way to get to the right destination. Glory doesn’t walk, or run, by sight. She lives by faith.
I, on the other hand, go back and forth between my human eyes and my God-given faith. And yet I always come back to remembering the lesson I have had to learn over and again. God is the One I need. He is the One I must seek. And I cannot find Him by running around with my eyes wide open staring at the world. I find Him by listening to His voice, His Word, and His personal directions to me. And then it is that I find myself wagging my tail once more. For I have come crashing back into His arms. Dirty, messy, disappointed in myself, discouraged, whatever it might be, at last I have found Him once more.
And because of His infinite love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, with my confession of all the wrong places I have gone and all the various ways in which I have fallen short, I find myself once more in that place of beauty that can only be found in Him. And I sigh. For I am weary. Like Glory who ran in all sorts of directions to get to her destination of love, I have done the same. Like Glory who is at peace once she has found me, basking in the love of my outstretched hands and heart (when I am not distracted or selfish and consumed with something other than loving her), I find once more the peace of meeting the outstretched hands and heart of God. Oh, if only I would remain in that place of rest once I found it. Once I find Him again. But just as Glory trots off after she has found me, off I go. One day, one day may I learn to stay where I belong. With Him. In Him.
Leave it to God to give me yet another faith lesson through these amazing mostly special needs and senior rescued dogs He has placed in my care. Glory? She can see love. And I, when I remember to walk by faith, can see it also – through eyes of faith. And no matter the road I take to get there, I know the destination I need to seek if I want to find the satisfaction that only comes one way. In Him. And there is only one way to get there. Through the way Himself. Through Christ.
I am led to share with transparency that I am walking through an extraordinarily challenging season right now in which my faith is being tested in a mighty way. I wish I could say I am pleased with the strength of my faith, but I instead confess that I am finding myself weak in faith and in desperate need of doing what I saw Glory do – running to the Lord, and letting Him and His love in. I am not someone who merely writes in retrospect. I often write from the “trenches” of learning to walk by faith. I pray that the Lord uses my transparency, and my brokenness, to demonstrate His glory and to draw you to Him despite my immense shortcomings and weaknesses.