“Keep pressing,” He whispers to me, “Keep pressing.”
Keep pressing? Yes, keep pressing. He wants me to keep pressing into Him. He wants me not to turn away; He wants me to persevere. To keep pressing on. To keep pressing in. To keep crying out. To keep praying. To keep listening. To build up my endurance. To allow my faith to continue to be tried. To show Him that I’m serious about this. I didn’t come to Him upon a little whim, only to turn elsewhere as soon as I don’t get my reply. I came because I am altogether serious about hearing Him answer. So I carry on. I continue crying out to Him. I continue praying. I keep listening, for His is the voice I want to hear.
It is not that I am coming to God for just anything. It is not even that I am coming to Him to have some desire fulfilled for myself. I am not searching for an answer so I can fulfill the lust of my flesh. I cry out because I am desperate to love Him, desperate to serve Him, desperate to please Him, desperate to follow Jesus as I move forward with my ministry.
“God, speak to me. God speak to me. God, tell me what to do next. I am hear listening. I am willing. I am available. Oh, how I long to please you.”
Silence. And then it is I know. His silence comes with an implied question. Though I hear no voice, just what is like a flutter in my heart, I know. I know what He says in His silence.
“Do you trust that I will speak?” He asks ever so softly. How easily I could have missed it; He speaks so quietly. Silently. Just the flutter. The sense. The knowing. I know what it is He asks me. The question echoes in my spirit until I reply. With a heartfelt word. A single word in reply to His question that comes without words.
The answer is no. And now I see. As much as I cried out to Him, I did not expect him to answer. I cried out to Him without faith. I cried out to Him doubting. And yet His Word tells me that if I ask for wisdom with FAITH, He will give it liberally.
And so it is I will go back to Him once more, and for as long as it takes.
“Lord, I believe you will answer me. If there is any unbelief in me at all, heal my unbelief, oh Lord. And I ask with expectation that you reply to my cry. I pray for wisdom, oh Lord. You know the desire of my heart to love you, to serve you, to please you. I trust that you will reply. I will not turn my ear, nor my heart, away from you. I believe you will answer me. I believe you will answer in your time. You know I want your will, and I trust you to respond. Thank you, God. Amen.”
I am tenacious with the Lord. He wants me to cling to Him, to cleave to Him, to hang on for dear life to Him. He wants me to be faithful to Him, not darting off to go find another alternative, a replacement, a temporary or permanent escape. He wants all of me, even my ear. Even my heart.
He has my life. And even though I fall short daily, He knows. He has me. Because He is my God! And His is the voice I long for. His is the voice I desire to hear. It is His will I desire to know. And it is His voice I know will speak. When He is ready to speak, He will have my ear and heart. For I am His daughter ever seeking Him.
Are you? Are you seeking Him with all that you’ve got? Come out from your hiding place. Come away from your alternatives and escapes. Come running to the Lord. Bow down your ear before Him. Humble your heart and cry out to Him. Seek His wisdom and listen. Believe. Wait for Him to reply. And listen. Cleave to Him. Cling to Him. Let your ear be His. Let your heart be His. Let your life be His.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, 8being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James 1:3-7 NASB
When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. John 10:4 NASB
“Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24 NASB