Dedicated to Annie…..
When a friend of mine, inundated and overwhelmed with grieving a monumental loss along with another incredibly trying challenge and all of her usual responsibilities, shared with me that she just wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out, I could so easily understand. I have grieved enormous losses, baby losses, and everything in between, and along with my other life challenges have oftentimes wanted to seek the refuge of hiding under the covers – and sometimes did. But when I realized there is only darkness and pain under the covers of a bedspread stained with tears or a quilt strewn with tissues or a sheet to get all twisted up in for people who toss and turn through troubles like I do, I found no refuge, no safety, no comfort, nothing at all but bare, shallow breaths and moments of what could hardly be considered relief.
There was simply no light in the tangles of the covers of my bed – or whatever I sought escape in from the relentless, caustic, cutting, jagged, piercing pain. Ultimately, I had to come out from all the covers I had sunk down under in my fruitless, and disappointing, attempts at coming away from the moaning hurt, the fierce, so frequent cries of my breaking, and re-breaking, and so often broken heart.
Only when I have come out of the darkness of my seemingly endless tries of getting the pain to go away, let alone even dissipate, often to little or no avail, did I discover a new kind of cover. Not a cover of darkness, but a cover of light.
A true refuge. A real hiding place. A genuine comfort. A sincere place of rest. Filled with light. Brilliant light. Healing light; healing love. Like a hammock swaying. Like a lullaby singing by heart. The cover of the Comforter, God of all comfort, God’s Holy Spirit.
For under the cover of His wings is a secret place of never ending love, everlasting grace, sweet, sweet mercy, healing friendship – with Him, peace with God, so gentle, like baby waves lapping redundantly but always differently at the sea’s side of naked, soft sand, all in this secret place of the most high. The most high!
A place to dwell. To abide. To rest. To stay. And, if not to stay, to come back again. And again. Over and again. Not a place to get tangled up in sheets and troubles and buried under burdensome blankets that do nothing more than muffle the burgeoning cries of pain etched on broken souls, but a place to be free of cares and worries. A place to unravel and come undone and pour out all the contents of an overwhelmed heart. A place where nothing else matters but Him.
And in this place is restoration. Refreshing. Renewal. Fresh air. Hope again. The hope of eternity. The light is so brilliant that I almost need to hold my hands over my eyes to protect them from the glare. But instead, I hold my hands up to the Lord in surrender to His love, in reverence to His holiness, in homage to His righteousness, in awe of His magnificence, with my heart decorated, celebrating, resplendent in utter unabashed, unashamed, unrestrained praise!
A waterfall of light, washing away the grief, the pain, the burden, all the anxiety, as once again I remember that the tribulations of this life, and there are many, are absolutely nothing, nothing, compared with Jesus the Christ who has overcome this world.
My faith grows deeper in Him, ever deeper, even in the midst of the heart ache, and I smile under the cover of His breath blowing away my troubles. Under the cover of this light of the world, this light of Christ.
Life will go on, pain will return, it always does in life, doesn’t it, but it will be different I know. Because now I know as I open up the pages of the Bible, and keep off the cover, the burden, that lay over my heart, to air out my heart, that in His secret place is the refuge I will surely need again.
And in His presence, no matter my woes, is the joy of blessed Jesus – Savior of the world, Savior of my life, Savior of my heart.
Under the shadow of the Almighty, I take cover. Marveling, humbled, brought low to the ground in love for Him, lifted high in my delight that no matter my troubles, no matter my grief, no matter my trials, no matter anything in this life, I can take cover – and solace, and joy – in the one true Light!
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
– Psalm 91 NASB (underlining added for effect)
Please visit Walk by Faith Ministry at https://www.walkbyfaithministry.com.