Barren No More
“Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible.” (Luke 1:34-37)
How astonishing that the virgin Mary would conceive and bear the Lord Jesus Christ without ever having been with a man, and that her cousin Elisabeth who was barren would bear John the Baptist who would prepare the way of Jesus. Not just astonishing. Impossible. But possible with God. I can’t help but relate to Elisabeth. Because for years I was nothing but barren. And for years I couldn’t conceive, no pun intended, that I would ever be anything other than barren.
Only in my case my barrenness wasn’t about having children. For aside from occasional thoughts about one day adopting, I never had the desire to have children probably because in retrospect God was calling and leading me to be entirely His 24-7 to love and serve Him as a wholly devoted evangelist and author separated from the cares of this world and totally dedicated and available to Him. But there was another barrenness I experienced that made me ache, yearn, whimper, cry, plead, beg, and grieve for as long as I could remember it seemed.
I desperately wanted to be a kind, loving, humble, fully devoted, woman of God He would be proud of filled with His Spirit, bearing the fruit of His Spirit, led by His Spirit, and used by Him to proclaim Him to the world and help lead people to Him and encourage them to follow Him. But day after day, month by month, year after year, it seemed, I remained barren. For two reasons, I believe. First, it wasn’t yet my time. Second, because I didn’t recognize what I desired was impossible in my strength and striving. Like with Mary and Elisabeth, it would take an act of God to make me conceive and bear the fruit He had given me the hunger and thirst to bear. God has done the impossible. I kept praying, seeking Him, learning to worship Him, following Him, studying His Word, crying out to Him, learning as I still am to yield myself to Him as His Spirit leads me. Such a long way still to go, but now at last I have begun to bear fruit. For Him, my God!
When our desire lines up with God’s will, and we walk in love and obedience to Him, ever desirous to walk in His ways, our hearts and lives yielded to Him, we must trust Him to do the impossible and not leave us barren but bring to pass and to bear through us fruit to bring Him glory!