But I Don’t Feel Like It


How often I used to point the finger at a loved one for not doing certain things in his life because, as he said in his own words, “I don’t feel like it.” Ultimately I needed to take a good hard look at myself. I came to discover how much I have struggled with the very same thing. “But I don’t feel like it,” I have flung the words in God’s face only to be reminded that obedience isn’t about feelings; obedience to God is about love and faith, commitment, honor, and reverence. It is about remembering that God is God, and I am just me. Obedience is not about whether or not I feel like doing something. Obedience, in my estimate, is more than anything else about loving God and demonstrating my love to Him in my decisions and actions. I learned that lesson yet again recently.

I came to a place in my walk with the Lord over the past year or so where countless times I considered quitting ministry. I have gone to the Lord over and over, over and again, and asked Him if His will is for me to quit. Why? Because I felt exceedingly exhausted, felt totally overwhelmed, felt I was not succeeding in helping others, felt I was not bearing fruit, felt nobody was buying my books or reading my writing online with the exception of a very few people, felt rejected in more ways and at a deeper level than I can adequately express, felt I did not have the help I needed and still do not, felt I could not go on, felt God might not want me to continue since it’s been so incredibly hard, and the list goes on. One common denominator in all of this. My feelings. Bottom line? I thought maybe I should throw my ministry back in God’s face and stomp off like a two-year-old banging her fists on her high chair because, well, plain and simple, I just didn’t feel like doing it anymore. I was in essence looking at the whole picture with my human eyes and being tempted to make a decision based on my feelings – rather than by faith.

But God set me straight. He reminded me that He does not call me to make decisions based on feelings, but instead to make decisions based on Him and His will. After about a month of extremely hard work transitioning to a new website, just when I felt – yes, felt – I could not possibly write another word for the Lord given I would undoubtedly in my opinion anyway face more of the rejection I have faced in years past with my ministry work, the Lord stopped me in my tracks. He reminded me deep in my heart that my life, and ministry, are not for me. My life, and ministry, are for Him. So my job, then, is to cast down my feelings and submit myself to Him. I cannot express how thrilled I am, then, despite extreme fatigue resulting from a variety of factors, to have put one foot in front of another, cast the feelings down, and moved ahead in God’s calling on my life. I am truly learning, day by day, step by step, breath by breath, to walk by faith. And the reward of this all is not in my circumstances, nor in my feelings, but in my ever growing relationship with the greatest reward and blessing in the universe. The Lord.

Are you walking by faith, or walking by your feelings? Are you making decisions based on how you feel, or based on seeking the Lord, studying His Word, hearing His voice, and choosing to obey? If you are living according to your feelings, it’s time to make a change. Repent of your sins, believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ that He died on the cross for your sins and rose again, and make the decision to obey the Lord regardless of how you feel. 

Joh 14:21 He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.
Joh 14:22 Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?
Joh 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
Joh 14:24 He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me.

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