I Couldn’t Stop Falling


I Couldn’t Stop Falling

   “Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh?” Galatians 3:3

   “Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:3

I never thought I would get to a point in my walk with the Lord in which I wasn’t falling flat on my face every other minute in one sin or another, struggling to no end to get up from the ground, cut, scraped, bruised, battered, disappointed, discouraged, frustrated, flustered, and upset with myself I couldn’t get it right when it came to learning to live according to God’s ways no matter how desperately I tried – for more than minutes, hours, or a day or so anyway. Sometimes I wanted to stay on the ground where I fell into whatever the sin of the hour was, whether worry, rage, irritability, meanness, hurting someone, pride, hurting one of the dogs, control, manipulation, not taking care of my body which belongs to God by starving myself, etc. Oh how I tried. I mustered all the strength I could. I prayed my heart out. I begged God to help me. Before I fell again – hard.

Learning to walk, physically or spiritually, involves learning to crawl, stand, walk, stumble, tumble, fall, stand again, etc.. Given how phenomenally hard I tried to do right, how could I fall so exceedingly much? Surely God could see how hard I tried. How much harder could I try? Where were the “fruits of righteousness” in my life – of right standing in Christ and right living? I felt like one big FAILURE. I loved the Lord beyond description; this was heartbreaking to me. So I tried HARDER!

Today, standing and walking so much more than I fall, though as a human I still have my falls and need to repent when I do, I understand what I was missing. The Bible says: “Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are BY Jesus Christ (Phil. 1:11 caps & bold added).” I knew for years the only way to a relationship with God now and forever instead of going to hell ONLY comes as a GIFT from God through repentance and faith in Christ who died on the cross to pay my sin penalty. I knew I hadn’t earned God’s love, forgiveness, and salvation. I had been saved from God’s wrath and born again spiritually with a clean slate and a fresh start ONLY because of Christ. But I was wrongly convinced I had to live the rest of my life TRYING in my own strength to love and please God now that I was born again. I had trusted Christ for my salvation, but trusted in myself to live a righteous life which is impossible. I don’t fall nearly as often now because as I love, praise, worship, and follow the Lord, I am learning to yield my life to Christ so He can dwell in me and bear the fruit of HIS righteousness in and through me!

   Believe in Christ! Trust in Christ. Live for Christ! Yield to Christ! Forever!

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