I don’t always laugh when everyone laughs, and sometimes I cry when nobody else does. I’m different because my family and two husbands abandoned me, and most people I know have families, husbands, loved ones all around. I’m different because I’m sensitive and can feel emotions to degrees that not everyone else can. I’m different because Jesus is my first love in a world in which most people don’t know Him or have rejected Him. I’m different because I love to the nth degree. I’m different because I don’t give up on people and dogs in need when lots of the time people will just walk away.
I’m different because I have compassion to unimaginable degrees. I’m different because I mess up ALL the time – and I’m willing to take responsibility for that. I’m different because I like to apologize, and I like to ask God for forgiveness. I’m different because I love one on one conversations and very small groups, but I’m quite shy in big social gatherings – to say the least. I’m different because I tell the truth about hard stuff when most people seem to want to look the other way. Oh, the list goes on. And on. But just recently, I figured out something that I just couldn’t see. I’m not like everyone else, but I’m okay. I’m starting to be okay with being me.
I have suffered so much rejection and abandonment and criticism and judgment and hatred and condemnation by the world around me that I figured there was something terribly wrong with me. But I think the biggest thing that was wrong with me is that I rejected and abandoned and criticized and judged and hated and condemned myself for not being like everyone else. Do you know what God says? He says I am “fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).”
And do you know something? He created me. So I may be different. I may not be like everyone else. But I am a woman God made. And no matter what the world around me thinks, I know God loves me – different and all.
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