Ever told God to keep 100 feet away because you’re too upset to let Him in? Ever told Him to keep away because you refuse to trust Him because too many people have let you down (as though God is one of us humans)? Ever told God to keep away because you think you know a heck of a lot better than He does how to handle your situation, your circumstance, your heartache, your whatever? Okay, so you can’t identify. Or, can you?
Okay, let me try again. Ever told the people around you, friends, family, loved ones, strangers, whoever, that you are “not responsible for debris”? Think about it. Seriously. Have you ever noticed how keeping God 100 feet away (or a whole lot further than 100 feet) will absolutely guarantee that you’re going to have debris flying out of you sometime in the very near and maybe far away future also? Oh yeah. Come on. Be honest.
I have to be honest with you. I stayed plenty far away from the truck. I had no idea what “debris” the truck had jammed and stuck and shoved and stuffed into its enormous rear end. I had no interest whatsoever in being on the receiving end of any of the truck’s debris. Besides, I was too busy trying to figure out if the truck was going so slowly all on its own or as a result of the car or cars in front of it. Quite frankly, the truck was so large I could barely see past it.
And there it is again. Just like a truck. As if it’s not enough that I can identify with telling God to “keep back 100 feet,” and that I can relate to the “not responsible for debris” warning on the truck’s rear end, here it is again. Nothing like identifying with a big old truck three times over. Three? Yes. The third? Quite simple. Sometimes my flesh is just SO IN THE WAY that I can hardly see past it – to God, to His help, to His provision, to His everlasting love as He reminds me that I need to LET HIS LOVE BACK IN.
Funny how all three things are so tied together. Funny? Or not. Let me put it all together, and see if you can relate. I most certainly can. Truck tells other drivers to “keep back 100 feet”. Truck warns that it is “not responsible for debris.” Truck is SO BIG that it’s hard to see around it.
And there it is. When I make the mistake yet again of keeping God 100 feet away, I am guaranteed to end up with debris flying out of me. And when I do not allow God access to me, I am standing in my own way. I can’t see past myself. And what began as a little bit of debris can add up pretty darn quickly.
Ahem. Any idea why it’s so easy for me to write about this? It’s certainly not because the truck ended up speeding up and that I forgot all about it. It’s because this is the exact place I have been walking in. I have been facing some big, yucky challenges. And I have been in loads of emotional pain. And I have realized that there is nothing I can do about it other than to give it all to God. Only that’s exactly what I have NOT done.
For as if I haven’t learned this lesson a million times over, I went back to a highly destructive and ultimately deadly habit of keeping God 100 feet away. So go figure. God sends a big old TRUCK that’s slower than a turtle to give me the exact message I needed to hear.
Now, my question is, do you need to hear it also? Do you suppose I could add one more big old sign to the back of the truck? Okay, why not. I give myself permission since I’m the one writing this.
“Lord, please come back in. I need you. I am broken. Please help me. Forgive me for kicking and keeping you out. Have mercy. Heal me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”