My Apology to the World
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.” James 5:16
I love the Lord with every single fiber of my being. I am devoted 24-7 to loving and serving Him with every ounce of my heart and life. I dedicate my life 100% to the Lord and ministry. It is not uncommon for some who meet me to know within about five minutes how I passionately, relentlessly, continually seek to love, honor, worship, adore, revere, fear, please, and serve Him, and how desperately I desire to fulfill my life’s calling to help people to find, love, and forever follow the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet contrary to what some might believe given my over-the-top, uncontainable love, passion for, and dedication to the Lord, I am just as human as anyone else – if not more so. In plain English, I mess up. I make mistakes. I do wrong. I sin. I stumble. I fall. As much as I despise my sin, as much as I hate hurting God, as much as I strive indescribably hard to learn to trust the Lord, rest in Him, and in His strength do what is right instead of what is wrong, I still find myself falling terribly far short of His glory, incredibly far short of pleasing Him to the degree I desire, and needing to repent more than I would like. Yes, as people remind me continually when they see how much I love the Lord and how hard I can be on myself when it comes to my shortcomings and shortfalls, I am blatantly human. Blatantly fallible. Yet, thank God, willing to repent before God, to continually work on being conformed to Christ’s image, and to seek the forgiveness of those I hurt along my journey learning to walk with the Lord.
Since evacuating with 24 hours’ notice due to the recent hurricane with 10 special needs and rescued dogs on a barebones budget, and leading a ministry that is growing by the day, I confess I have been at an almost all-time level of stress combined with an all-time high lack of enough sleep and rest, facing major decisions as the Lord leads me forth in ministry, and have found myself apologizing often to people for not showing the love of Christ in all I have done and said. I am correctable, teachable, willing to repent and make changes and to apologize. I love the Lord’s chastening because it shows me His love for me and that He desires to change and grow me in His image that I might draw ever closer to Him and ever more reflect to the world His Son Christ. The truth is evacuation or not, stress or not, regardless of my circumstances, I sin daily just like any human. I hate hurting God, I hate hurting people, and I hate hurting my dogs when I fall. For any way in which I have ever hurt, harmed, disrespected, dishonored, or offended you because of my sin, for any way and time I have fallen short of showing you the love of Christ, I ask your forgiveness.