Even now, Jake stands at the doorway, panting with all his exertion (no small feat given his severe arthritis and what might be cancer or simply extreme age for his breed) and waits for his next trip to me as I enjoy the strong and hot entrance of spring. Jake is relentless. This is how I want to be with God. Relentless in my seeking Him. Relentless in coming after Him. Relentless in returning to Him every time I have stepped away. Relentless about being in His presence – even if I come to Him tired, weary, panting. Simply relentless.
|Jake (in the back) resting with Abigail (front).|
Believe it or not, they are NOT related….
Jake does this indoors also. He does not come to receive something from me, though sometimes he does. He comes to me, over and over no matter his obstacles, because he wants to be with me. He desires my company, and my company is enough for him. It is not about getting anything from me; he desires my companionship. This is how I want to be with God, though so much of the time I go running to God in search of something. For God to hear me, for God to help me, for God to answer my prayers. Oh, I long for the day I am so thankful and so surrendered and will so trust in God that my highest priority will be His fellowship. I am slowly moving in that direction. Slowly. Out of breath. Like Jake.
If only I would come after God the way Jake comes after me. And, in some ways, more often, I am. For I am tenacious with God, ever chasing after Him. But I confess I also get too easily distracted, I also wander in other directions, I also forget to return or become afraid again of letting anyone in (even God), or become defiant as I hold onto something I know I am needing to let go.
Jake is getting tired now. This time, he didn’t make it all the way back to me. But he looked at me to assure himself I am still here. He wants to know my whereabouts. This is how I desire to be with God. Even when I am busy with other things, I want to be conscious of Him. Knowing He is there with me. Aware of Him. My heart and ear tuned in to Him.
Just days ago, I cried petting Jake and considering how little time I might have left with him.I thank God for the many years Jake and I have spent together, and for giving me the privilege so long ago of being used by God to rescue Jake from an outdoor life with no boundaries, no veterinary care, heart-worm disease, and needing a mom in his life. Jake has never forgotten who God used to rescue him. He remembers his rescuer, and he is ever seeking to be in his rescuer’s presence.
God rescued me through Jesus. I am grateful for the reminder through Jake’s pursuit of me to be relentless in seeking fellowship with my rescuer. My rescuer. My Lord.