|photo courtesy of safulmulia via pixabay.com|
If there is anything I have bemoaned in recent years, it’s a combination of the ugly, long-term ramifications and aftermath of childhood sexual abuse coupled with abandonment by two husbands AND how exceedingly different my life has turned out from anything I expected let alone desired. YUCK, right? To top it all off, in my YUCK mental scrapbook anyway, is how utterly, phenomenally on my own I am. No family, no husband, no social life, no close friends my age nearby who like to get together, etc. Lots of etc., mind you. Go figure. Me, who loves people, who loves relationships with people, this on my own? Seriously? Yeah. YUCK. But now wait a minute. Didn’t I say I’ve discovered the other side of YUCK? Yes.
Have you ever put on somebody else’s pair of eyeglasses and not been able to see an inch in front of you? Or taken your eyeglasses off and realized life looks like one big fog? Have you ever gotten a pair of new eyeglasses and been astounded by how incredibly clearly you can see? Well, let’s just say I have come to see my life with a brand new pair of eyeglasses. For I have realized that what has looked and felt and seemed to me like such YUCK when it comes to my life’s circumstances and situations, trauma, trials, and tribulations has been the most incredibly wonderful, amazing, awesome, breathtakingly beautiful opportunity to develop an intimate, and everlasting, relationship with the Lord that has given me a love, joy, peace, hope, faith, sense of purpose, satisfaction, fulfillment, and excitement that is truly indescribable. I am absolutely certain if my life had turned out the way I had wanted it to, I would be entirely focused on the things and people of this world and miss out on what I have found instead. Not to mention my exceeding availability because I don’t have all the people and stuff that I had wanted has made it such that I am pretty much available 24-7 to love and serve the Lord, and to share the Gospel while ministering the Lord’s love to a world in need.
The other side of YUCK? Amazing. But I’ve got to be honest. I was SO stuck in the YUCK that I couldn’t even fathom that there was another way to look at it. Now that I’m wearing my new pair of glasses, so to speak, I can only hope and trust that I will continue forth with this new, beautiful vision of the blessed life the Lord has given me. A life lived with Him, a life lived in Him, a life lived for Him.
Will I have more YUCK in my life? Possibly. More like probably. After all, life is full of trials and tribulations. But this new life that I live following the love of my life, Jesus, I just need to keep remembering to look past the YUCK – and to look to Him. The Bible speaks of rewards in heaven for some. I’m not sure exactly what rewards the Lord plans for me there, but I know I already have the greatest reward right here on earth. I have the Lord!
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, wea have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faithb into this grace in which we stand, and wec rejoiced in hope of the glory of God. 3Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5 ESV