I thanked my friend. I asked a professional for help. I took some actions. But if the truth be told, in my heart and mind I slid further down the slope. Though my actions were mostly designed to walk away from the sin in my physical body, my mind went off to the races in pursuing the sin. “But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. (James 1:14-15 KJV).” Where did my sin start? In my mind! The devil can send a temptation my way, but it is my choice whether my mind will resist the temptation or walk straight into the trap.
I had not only walked straight into the trap, but I had rebelled when it came to walking out of it. I am not sure if people truly realize that sin really is deadly. Death may not come physically as a result, but death can come spiritually, emotionally, in relationships, regarding dreams, and so much more. When my friend confronted me, the Lord was not merely using her to show me the outward sin I had fallen into. He was using her to warn me of the impending destruction if I did not repent and walk free through faith in Jesus Christ from the bondage to which I had returned.
Today, the Lord showed me in my heart why I had gone back. I am in a new, and much unexpected season of my life. At times, I have been afraid because I do not know where I am going next. The Lord revealed to me today that this old sin I had fallen back into was merely another attempt at holding onto something familiar rather than putting my complete trust in Him and believing He knows where He is leading me – and will keep me safe, loved, and protected all along the way!