Sometimes the same people keep hurting us over and again. They just don’t seem to stop hurting us. Every time we begin to have a little hope they are going to change and will stop hurting us, boom. They hurt us again. They put on the charm and tell us they have changed and it won’t happen again. Boom. They hurt us once more. Or they don’t make promises but we still hold out hope this time will be different. Sometimes they apologize. Sometimes they don’t. But bottom line, the hurt keeps coming.
The disrespect. The dishonor. The lack of love and kindness. The meanness. The cruelty. Or maybe not that. Maybe the letting us down. Breaking promises. Not acting professionally. Not keeping commitments. Ignoring us. Rejecting us. Overlooking us. Goodness is missing. And we feel like we just can’t take ant more being hurt by the same person.
Even as I write this, I have been dealing with someone who has treated me really poorly, disrespectfully, and unprofessionally. Again and again and again.
Whether the hurt is really small or enormously big, it never feels good to keep getting hurt by the same people, does it?
So what are we supposed to do? Refuse to love them, right? Refuse to forgive, right? Forget being merciful, right? Hold back the kindness, right? Seek vengeance? Gossip? Bad mouth them? Curse them? Hurt them in return? Kick them out of our lives? What is the answer to all this?
First and foremost, NO MATTER WHAT, we need to LOVE and BE MERCIFUL and FORGIVE and BE KIND and DO NOT gossip, badmouth, curse, hurt them, and seek vengeance. Per the Bible, we need to obey God and act right even when others act wrong. And we should PRAY for the person as the Lord leads us.
Very importantly, we need to CRY OUT TO GOD! We need to pour out our hearts to Him, seek Him, and OBEY HIM no matter what He tells us. He may call us to end a relationship, walk away from someone, terminate a commitment, let a group of people go, leave a job, confront someone in love, get professional help, etc.
On the other hand, God might lead us to stick around and patiently pray for the person and model His love to the person and help the person to grow. He may use the experience to grow us, test us, refine us, purify us, train us, etc. WHETHER WE STAY OR LEAVE SHOULD BE UP TO AND DONE IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD.
Well, what about our feelings in all this? We should bring them to God! And we should reach out to followers of His for love, support, encouragement, help, prayer, and godly counsel as He leads us.
Never ever should we try to overcome other people’s wrongdoing with our own wrongdoing. We should humbly look to the Lord, to the Bible, and live in obedience to Him NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS DO. We are to obey God regardless of what the rest of this world does or does not do.
If someone won’t stop hurting you, begin with this. Cry out to God, open your Bible, spend time in His presence, and seek, hear, and obey Him! Amen!
“Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. Therefore “IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM; IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP COALS OF FIRE ON HIS HEAD.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21 NKJV
“Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22 NKJV
“”You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48 NKJV