WHERE ARE YOU GOD?

In some of my greatest trials, I did not just cry out to the Lord. Oh, how easy it would be to say this. But I did much more. I cried out against Him. I cried out in anger. I cried out in hurt. I cried out with questions. And, I cried out in doubt. I doubted His goodness. I doubted His sovereignty. I doubted His promises. I doubted His Word. I doubted His will for my life. I doubted His will for humanity. I doubted His plan and purpose for this world. I doubted His kindness. I doubted His forgiveness. I doubted His hand in my life. I doubted His love for me. I doubted His care for me. And I doubted Him. Yes, I doubted who He is. I doubted His Son Jesus Christ. Oh, how ashamed I could be to write these words. But if I am not transparent with you, who am I to inspire, and encourage, and teach you? I cringe at the words I have written, at the state of my heart once was. But I must be honest. For there is a lesson in this, a glorious message I believe from the Lord. And this message may well be for you.

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When I cried out to the Lord in all my anguish, in all my hurt and bitterness and brokenness, I did the very most important thing without even realizing it at the time. In all my crying out to Him, and in all my doubt, I relentlessly, with utter abandon, with total conviction, with all that was in me, tenaciously, fiercely, desperately, clung to Him. Instead of allowing all the doubt to steal me away from God, I clung to Him with all my might. I refused to let go, not for a moment. I cleaved to Him. Rather than run away from Him, I ran to Him like perhaps I had never run to Him before. And I adamantly, emphatically, would not let myself let go of Him. I would not turn God loose. I took my doubt to Him. I got in His face about it. And I wouldn’t let up.

And so it is that my faith is stronger than ever before, it is ever growing as I study His Word and pursue an ever deeper relationship with Him as I learn to live according to His ways. My faith had been tried like never before, and in the fire of the trying of my faith, I made a discovery I can only now see in retrospect.

If we will pursue the Lord with all our might, if we will commit to steadfastly seek Him, if we will unconditionally study and learn to live the ways of the Lord and His Word, no matter what, without any condition whatever, if we will pour our hearts out to Him in seasons of doubt, if we will run to Him rather than away, if we will cleave and cling and hold onto Him regardless of anything or anyone, if we will persevere in believing in Him, we will not only come out the other side of our trials. We will come out with a faith we could not have imagined, a strength we did not imagine possible, and we will stay on the course of our salvation. For being born again through repentance and believing Christ died for us on the cross is only the beginning. The day we stand before the Lord, when our trials and tribulations on this earth are over, salvation shall come to those who have endured – who have stayed the course even through the most fiery trials.

Stay the course, my friend. Do not turn away from the Lord, no, not ever. Cleave to Him – now, and for ever! Bring your troubles and doubts to Him. Seek His face. Pour out your heart to Him. Dig into His Word daily, dig, dig, dig, study, listen, learn, persevere, my friend. To the very end! 

Heb 10:35  Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. 
Heb 10:36  For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. 
Heb 10:37  For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry. 
Heb 10:38  Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. 
Heb 10:39  But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul. 

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