But God I Am SCARED!


When I was a little girl, long before I believed in God, I was PETRIFIED of spending the night at friends’ houses. I didn’t want to spend a single night away from home. I would call my parents and get them to bring me home. I was terrified of going to sleep-away camp but finally did. I confess I have struggled with loads of fear, worry, and anxiety my whole life. Isn’t it something I write this as I am days away from packing up my special needs ministry dogs, most of my life’s belongings, my ministry equipment, and the dogs’ wheelchair and supplies all into one vehicle and heading off to another season of streets ministry in New York City as well as neighboring northern New Jersey. And isn’t it something April 2022 will mark five years on the road full-time for the Lord and ministry. Utterly miraculous, and with this testimony comes a powerful message for us all.

The world judges us for being afraid and teaches us to hide our fears and pridefully put on an appearance of strength, confidence, and courage. But God has taught me to handle fear, worry, and anxiety in an entirely different manner.

The Lord has taught me to humble myself, to come to Him with my fear, worry, and anxiety, to pour out my heart to Him about this and everything else in my heart, to confess my weakness to Him, to spend time in His presence praising, worshiping, adoring, singing to, seeking, praying to, waiting on, hearing, and receiving wisdom, courage, strength, comfort, healing, and all else I need from Him.

I was broken beyond human hope and repair for decades, didn’t believe God even existed, had no sense of significance nor purpose on this earth, contemplated killing myself for about 20 years, have struggled with an endless stream of things to this very day, and can’t think of a more least likely candidate to be on the road full-time for Jesus telling the world about Him. I literally can’t draw one breath let alone fulfill one ounce of my life’s calling for God without Him.

The greatest lesson I have learned about fear is to admit I have it and to go to God with it, to cast it upon Him, to receive all I need from Him, to not allow fear to stop me from doing what God calls me to do day by day, to not let fear reign in my heart and life, to yield to the Holy Spirit of God as He empowers and leads and guides and provides for me, and to press on in life and ministry in the strength of Christ for the glory of Christ, Hallelujah!

I praise God for each and every person who prays for me and Good News Ministry, but I do not give glory to humans for lovingly praying for me that I might continue following Jesus day by day. I give glory to God almighty who loves me despite my struggles with fear and all else and lovingly, mercifully patiently teaches and enables me to faithfully follow Him each and every day and forevermore, AMEN!

Please, friend, if you struggle with fear as I do, don’t let fear stop you from living the life God is calling you to live. Turn from your sins, believe Jesus Christ is Lord and in His death and resurrection, turn to God and His ways, be forgiven, be promised a forever relationship with God instead of hell and the lake of fire forever, ask for and receive the gift of God’s Holy Spirit, spend time alone with God and read the Bible each and every day, be a totally devoted follower of the Lord Jesus Christ, and let the one who reigns in your heart and life not be fear or any other sin but God almighty, glory be to the Lord, hallelujah, AMEN!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NKJV

“You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.” Isaiah 26:3-4 NKJV


Comments are closed.