I Cried Because I Veered Off Course


      Years ago when I was totally broken I cried tons. Now I don’t cry so often. I’ve been really crying hard for the past few minutes. Godly sorrow produces repentance. That’s when we’re really truly sorry about our sins and how we’ve disobeyed and hurt and rebelled against God. This is why I’m crying. Because I did something terrible without even seeing it. And God in His amazing love and mercy just led me to repentance. See, I veered way of course.

      I had absolutely no intention of sinning. I didn’t want to hurt God in the least. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. And I didn’t want to hurt myself either. But in one big fell swoop I fell big-time into sin and veered way off course. Now this message comes with a warning, friend. See, there was NOTHING about what I did that anyone would think was wrong. In fact, many people knew about what I did. In the grand scheme of things, it seemed right, godly, righteous, good, etc. But herein lies the warning. Sin against God isn’t always doing something really bad. Sometimes it’s doing something good but that is NOT GOD’S WILL FOR OUR LIVES. It’s God’s will for other people but not for us.

      That’s what happened to me. What seemed right to me wasn’t right because it wasn’t what God wanted for me. So in that sense I veered off course. It was something He has given others to do. And because I jumped right in and got all busy doing it, I was unable to show up for God and His will for me the way I so desperately wanted to do.

     Now there is a second warning with this message about veering off course. Even if it had been right for me, God showed me MY HEART WAS WRONG. My motives were wrong. Oh, sure, on the surface I had some good intentions. But deep down inside me, there was sin in my heart. My underlying purposes were wrong. Sin. So I was off course with my actions and with my motives behind them.

      I could have gone on for years in this sin. But God in His love for me chastened me, led me to repentance, and forgave me.

     How do I feel right now? Drained. Sad. Disappointed. And so very thankful. I asked God why He let me do it. He spoke to my heart that He wanted me to see. I believe He was testing me. And that He wanted me to see what needed to be purged from my heart and life. And where there needs to be way more trust in Him and accompanying growth.

      So now I ask you, friend. Is there anywhere in your life in which you have veered off course? Please go before the Lord and see what He shows you and speaks to your heart. And if you needed to do as I have done, i.e. humble yourself and repent, please do. For the glory of God, amen!

     “Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 KJV

     “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight:…Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me…Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee….O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.Psalms 51:1-17 KJV

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