When I came up off the floor, when I had finished feeding the dogs and myself and did a mini Bible study, I looked straight ahead on my side of the street and saw what I needed to do next. I called my pastor, told him I was headed over to my home church, and proceeded to prepare for the next step of my journey. I have known my father in Christ / pastor for years, but never in all this time did I bear my heart before him and the Lord the way I did this morning. By the time I left his office, I was wiped out, wiped clean, and good and ready for the next step. I fastened my eyes back on the street ahead of me and drove to my next destination.
Next, I picked up the phone and called my loved one. I left a message and waited. When the phone rang, I bore down on the gas pedal and moved forward. I confessed all my wrongdoing only to find I had already been forgiven.
“I’ve already forgiven you,” my loved one said. “But if you need to tell me what you did wrong for your sake, go ahead.”
I pressed deeper down on the pedal of my heart and moved ahead. In tears of a truly repentant heart, I shared the burden of my heart. My sin had been against God, but the damage I did left my loved one with a great burden. When I was finished my confession, and I was assured once again of my loved one’s forgiveness, the Lord opened the door for healing that might have never taken place – in both our hearts.
Where will I go next now that I am focused on my side of the street? Only God knows. But I know this. I am exhausted, but it is a godly exhaustion. I am tired from the labor of doing right rather than doing more wrong. I am sleepy, peacefully, from the end of a long journey driving in the wrong direction with my vehicle all over the map. But I am not too weary to know this.
The Lord knows where He is taking me, and I plan to follow Him. With His strength and mercy, with His love and grace, as He continues to move in my heart to heal what has so desperately for so long needed healing, I know this for certain. The Lord has my best interest at heart, and He knows where this side of the street is going. So instead of driving with my foot on the brake constantly for fear, I purpose it in my heart to trust the Lord more than ever as I learn to let Him lead – and I learn to follow in the pathway of His everlasting love.