My Blank Screen Life

Some writers love a blank screen. Imagine all the possibilities. Some writers cringe at the thought. What could they possibly write? When I considered returning to my computer after lunch today, I had just an iota of dread about returning to my latest writing project. Where would I go next with it – or not? But then I considered my life, and thought about how different my life might be if only I had a blank screen life. But alas, at 44 years old, my life is anything but a blank screen.

I have already traveled too far over the past decades to look in the mirror at my life today and see a blank screen. I already know too much about myself, have covered too much ground, and am far enough along in my walk with the Lord to know that never again will my life be a completely blank screen. Sure, I can hit the DELETE button and erase something I have done by asking the Lord to forgive me, by apologizing to someone I have hurt, and so on, but still I have to accept that piece of my life is already written – and done.

I could hit the TAB button and begin a new paragraph of my life, but I already know there are 44 years of paragraphs behind me. I could play around with my cursor and try to go backwards, but the Bible teaches me to press forward rather than dwell in the past. I could move the cursor down and try to skip ahead to the future, but God is in charge of the future – not me.

Or, alternatively, I could accept that the past is over, the future is in God’s hands rather than my own, and what remains is the present. So I could simply lay my fingers over the keyboard and begin “writing”. Only, even in the present I know better. I am not the author of my life. The Lord is. And though I do not have the opportunity to re-write the past or the vision to know the future, I could look at my life in an altogether different fashion.

As a long-time writer, I am actually the type who prefers a blank screen. I like it best when nothing whatever has been written, and I prefer to take on a shorter project whereby I can sit down and write everything all at once – and be done with it. Books are challenging for me, not because I am not capable of writing page after page. I can be as prolific with written words as I am more than capable of running at the mouth. Just ask anyone who knows me well.

But the reality is that there is no such blank page with my life at the ripe old – or is it young? – age of 44. I can begin a new page, but I know well enough that there are so very many pages behind me. So given everything I know about writing, and everything I have discovered thus far about life, I see in my heart an option that takes the prize.

Just as I am learning to yield my writing to the Lord that He might lead me as I write and that His name may be glorified in what I write, I am learning to yield my life to Him as well – as I could, and should, have done all along. Oh, what an incredibly long way I have to go in this. Obedience? I am an oh, so, slow, learner.

As I picture the image that comes to mind, I picture this. Just as I finished my lunch break and returned to my computer to lay my fingers down over the computer, I can do the same with my life.

His hands, the Lord’s hands, with their beautiful fingers that have created this world and authored my life, His heart behind His fingers, His hands lay themselves down gently over mine, as a loving father might hold his hands over a child’s hands to teach her how to hold and move a pen to form words, and write the next chapter of my life.

Yes, rather than move my hands over the keyboard randomly, painfully, deliriously but dangerously in charge of themselves, I can let the resistance go and yield to the glorious hands from heaven held over mine.

You, oh my precious Lord, you with your heart, you with your hands, cover me with your wings, cover my hands oh Lord, infuse my heart with your love, grace, and mercy, write in me, write through me, lead me on, lead us, oh Lord, take us into the next chapter of my life. You are not only the author of my life. You do not quit the work you have begun. You will complete it. You will finish what you started. Take over, Lord. As I rest my heart and hands in you, my Lord, carry on. Thank you, my Father, that you have not given up on me. Oh, how I have resisted you. Oh, how I have rebelled. Oh, how I have allowed the enemy of my soul, Satan, to wreak havoc in my life. But yesterday you sent me an angel friend who ministered to me, and you showed me how to become free once again. Now, oh Lord, I am ready once again. I want to follow you, Lord. Teach me how. Take my hands and write the next page of my life. My blank screen life. My screen is only blank, Lord, because I have turned the page. You have forgiven me for all the mistakes I made in previous pages. Now, Father, please take me forward as you write through me. Oh Lord, THANK YOU! Amen. 

Php 1:6  “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:…”

Heb 12:2  “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

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