My Obsession with Men


Decades ago I was so obsessed with men that I lived and breathed them for them. It was as though my very life depended on whichever man was my latest love of my life. I became an alcoholic, and my obsession with men only grew worse. I would be as high as the sky when a man I desired expressed interest in me. I would crash so low I was devastatingly depressed when a man rejected me. Suffice it to say they all ended up rejecting me. My poor mother lovingly and patiently listened to it all over the years as my obsession only worsened, and my life shattered ever more. Men were my first love, greatest priority, biggest desire, and number one in life.

Decades later now, I am a totally devoted follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord is my first love, the love of my life, my greatest priority, biggest desire, and number one in life. I live and breathe for God and to love, worship, praise, honor, adore, sing to, rejoice in, obey, serve, and glorify Him. And to fulfill my life’s calling for Him. I am obsessed with God and the Bible and with pursuing Him and His will for my life and telling the world about Him.

When I was obsessed with men, I was never satisfied. Never fulfilled. Only ever more broken. In my obsession with the Lord and with being totally devoted to Him, I am always satisfied, always fulfilled, and whole in Him. The intimate personal forever relationship I have with God is ever richer, ever deeper, ever greater, ever more wonderful. Men and alcohol and this world were my first love. Today Jesus is. The way it should have been all along.

Is Jesus your first love? Is God the one you live for? The one you depend on? The one you look to? The one you rely on? The one you put your hope in? The one you set your expectation on? The one you live and breathe for? Is He your number one? Your greatest priority? The love of your life? Are you totally devoted to the Lord? Do you have a deeply intimate personal ever-growing relationship with God?

If the answer is yes, hallelujah! If the answer is no, today is a new beginning. Make the Lord Jesus Christ your first love now and forevermore, AMEN!

“And He is before all things, and in Him all things consist. And He is the head of the body, the church, who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in all things He may have the preeminence.” Colossians 1:17-18 NKJV

“”I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name’s sake and have not become weary. Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.” Revelation 2:2-5 NKJV

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