Sex Is Not the Answer


Let me say right from the start this is a hard subject for me to talk or write about it. I rarely do. Maybe it’s because I was sexually abused as a child, that it devastated my life, that the wounds and scars in my life and in that of others have taken up far too much time and space, and maybe it’s because other yucky stuff has happened along the way also I won’t go into. Regardless the reasons, I have no excuse when God calls me to do something. Like write this message. About how sex is not the answer.

Many years ago, thanks to my time as an alcoholic, I landed myself in the upstairs fraternity bedroom of an about 270 pound college football player I believed would be the be-all answer to all my needs and desires. He boldly told me he knew exactly what I needed. I can remember just about word for word what he said. He truly believed he had my answer. I was born into a Jewish family that didn’t believe in God and at that time was essentially an atheist. The God I didn’t yet believe in saved me from being raped. He saved me another time also when I was alone with a beach lifeguard who turned out to have raped someone else and easily could have raped me if it hadn’t have been for God’s merciful protection.

Another time, when with some co-workers, one of them proclaimed for any and all to hear that the answer to a challenge I had would be simple. Sex.

I was a desperate young alcoholic completely lost, broken, with an ultimate desire for suicide as the answer to my troubles. But clearly others thought the answer was sex.

Not too long afterward, when I told a man with whom I was involved NO to sex, he took my no as a yes. Not sure what they call it now. Once upon a time that was called acquaintance rape. Suffice it to say I dove deeper and deeper into drinking, men, sexual sin, and more and more brokenness.

The sex they told me would be the answer to my life’s struggles was not. Nor is sex ever the answer for anyone.

Sexual relations / intimacy is designed by God exclusively for a man and his wife and not as the “answer” to life’s struggles. It is a blessing for marriage between a man and a woman ordained by God. Anything outside this is sin against God whereby we need to repent and turn to God and His ways.

And as for the trials and tribulations we face in our lives, there is only ONE answer – the Lord Jesus Christ, faith in Him and our lives being devoted to Him. All we need is in Jesus, through Jesus, and by Jesus. When we struggle, sex is NEVER the answer. God is. And all we need to get through our struggles, when we humble ourselves before God almighty and live for Him, God will provide for us everything we need – beginning with His amazing, amazing love.

I have asked God to forgive me for all I have done wrong over the years, including back then, and may the Lord have mercy upon the men who hurt me, upon those who have hurt others, and upon all who have sinned sexually and in any way, shape, and form. May the Lord draw this world to Himself, forgive us, have mercy upon us, and bring us into His forever fellowship.

Truth is not all will humble themselves, turn from their sins, believe in Jesus as Lord and in His death and resurrection, and turn to God and His ways, and receive God’s forgiveness, forever life with Him, and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. But all may have the blessedness of forever with God instead of forever in hell and the lake of fire in torment for eternity apart from Him if they so choose.

If you have or currently are engaging in any kind of sexual sin, whether it be sex outside marriage, same-sexed sex, same-sex marriage, homosexuality, incest, sexual abuse, rape, pornography, sex with animals, transgenderism, transvestitism, or anything else God deems as sin, please don’t wait another moment. Cry out to God for His forgiveness, don’t just say you’re sorry, turn to God and His ways, and understand you will never find in sexual sin or in any other kind of sin, nor in anything or anyone in this world, what you will find in and through the Lord Jesus Christ.

The most beautiful love evermore, forever life with God, the best relationship in the universe, with the Lord Himself, life on this earth filled with and led by God’s Spirit, and heaven to look forward to with God forever and ever, AMEN!

“Flee sexual immorality…” 1 Corinthians 6:18

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6 NKJV

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