The Life I Never Expected

Least likely to succeed. Most likely to fail. That’s how I would have summed up my life not so very long ago. Despite an Ivy League education, I never in a million years thought I would do anything other than fail utterly. No, I didn’t always expect failure. But enough years spent consumed by post traumatic stress disorder and multiple addictions, thanks in part to childhood sexual abuse, not to mention almost two decades of wanting to kill myself, self-mutilation, debilitating depression and anxiety, hospitals, counselors, medications, abandonment by my family and two husbands, two unwanted divorces, and plenty more, bottom line, I didn’t hold out a single hope my life would turn into anything even remotely valuable. 

Paralyzed dog Mr. Simeon (back) with severely disabled senior dog Little Miss Miracles
snuggled up on my bed aka home office where I do my writing
when I’m not either caring for the dogs or out on the streets or at the beach
sharing the Gospel while ministering the Lord’s love to a world in need.

But then again, if the truth be known, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever it was possible for someone like me to come out the other end of the way I lived at all. I figured one of two things would happen. I would either be miserable and useless for the rest of my life, or I would take my life. Instead, by the grace and mercy and love of the Lord God almighty alone, I didn’t take my life. I gave it to Him.

And, in His hands, by His love and the transforming power of His Word, the Bible, and a life dedicated to believing in AND following the Lord Jesus Christ by the application of the Bible to my life, I am now a joy-filled, sold out, on-fire-for-the-Lord, woman of God dedicated 24-7 to loving and serving the Lord with all my heart and all of my life. My heart is His. My life is His. And the victory of a life broken beyond description transformed into a life of purpose and fulfillment belongs entirely to Him.

I didn’t plan my life to turn out this way. I did once have dreams before my life broke into a million pieces. But those dreams are long gone. Because I gave up my dreams and opened my heart to God’s dream for my life. And His plan far exceeds anything I could have even possibly imagined – let alone expected or even wanted.

Considering my background, nobody could possibly have imagined – least of all myself – that I would turn out to be a Messianic Jew totally sold out to the Lord Jesus Christ who leads a ministry with the mission to share the Gospel while ministering the Lord’s love to a world in need. Me, an evangelist? With my human eyes, totally impossible. In my human flesh, impossible. But with God, totally possible. And totally true. And speaking of totally, I am totally His. For this day and forevermore. 

Are you His? Are you living the life today you never expected? Or, are you still living the life you have chosen for yourself? Or that someone else chose for you? Are you ready to cast aside your plans for your life and surrender to His will for your life? Begin with this. Begin with Him. 
If you are not yet born again and saved through faith in Jesus Christ, please feel free to reach out to me. I would be honored and blessed to talk to you and to help you begin the new and amazing life for now and eternity that awaits you through repentance and faith placed in Christ who died on the cross for you. If you are already born again but are not a fully committed follower of Christ, I would also be blessed to talk to you and to encourage you to make that life-changing commitment. And if you are already born again and a committed follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and would like encouragement as you press forward, feel free to reach out to me, too. It is my privilege to be a servant of the Lord’s and to have the honor of giving my heart, time, love and care to those who seek to live their lives for the one whose name is to be exalted over all the world. The Lord! 

You can reach me at 843-338-2219 or at

Please visit Walk by Faith Ministry at

Leave A Reply