Even amid a season of grief beyond measure, challenges beyond description, of stuff so hard that I have innumerable times thought of throwing in the towel, that I would surely quit this journey if it were not for Jesus, I can honestly say this. I love the Lord more than ever, and the rest of my life wouldn’t be long enough to tell Him thank you. Thank you that He is Lord.
I just came back from an unexpected trip to the beach with three wheelchair dogs in tow – or, to be most precise, leading the way. I cried out to the Lord from the depths of my soul on the way there, seeking Him from the deepest place in my heart, pouring my pain and questions out onto Him, never expecting what He would do in reply.
By the time I reached the beach, He was speaking to me. Answering my questions. Talking to me. Speaking right back into the very heart I had poured out to Him. Telling me things. Explaining stuff. Encouraging me. Being in fellowship with me. In conversation. He humbled me.
By the time I reached the beach, and unloaded the dogs and their wheelchairs, I figured I would spend a quiet piece of time by the ocean resting from the world from which I have been taking a break. But God was not done with me, nor is He ever.
He sent me person after person, group of people after group of people, who appeared with my natural eyes to be simply enamored by the dogs in their wheelchairs. But not so. God used these people, these strangers, some local and some visiting, to minister to me. He used them to speak His love into my life. His mercy. His grace. His comfort. His joy.
And hope, yes hope. This very day, one week since my beloved dog Red, co-founder of the ministry through whom God birthed the ministry and poured endless amounts of love as God used us both to minister to many in years past, God knew I needed hope. I needed to be reminded Red’s job on earth is now done, though his story remains to be told.
God knew I needed to be reminded that my story is not over yet, no matter how much my flesh is ready to call it quits. He reminded me I still have a purpose here. And my purpose is not about dogs. Nor is it about humans. My purpose is about Jesus Christ, about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ while ministering the Lord’s love to a world in need.
Doors opened today. People on the beach made suggestions, extended possible invitations to come minister where they work, where they go to church. Wherever. Even on the beach. And, most importantly, to hearts. Hearts like mine. Human hearts. Hearts that need Jesus whether we know it or not.
I know it. I know how much mine does. For mine is broken. But it is even in my brokenness, even through my brokenness, that God had a reminder for me today. I am not done.
And it is to this God, to my Lord, that I say simply this. Thank you. Thank you that even as hopeless as I may feel, even as broken as I am, you have chosen me. Chosen me to love. Chosen me to use. All for your glory.
May my life itself, Lord, say thank you. For words, when it comes to you, God, are never enough.