I could easily be discouraged when I look at myself and the ministry right now and reflect on how familiar my surroundings are. Same enormous challenges, same enormously strained budget, same fiery darts from Satan. Only this time I am determined to listen to the Lord rather than bow down to Satan. Rather than consider quitting the ministry or distracting myself at the very least by chasing after another job to make some cash, I am committed to chasing after God daily to see what He has to say about all this. I have taken this test too often and failed it, or at the vest least barely passed the test, to not recognize that I am being tested again because God in His never ending mercy wants me to get it right this time.
This time, I know right from the start that there is only one way to pass the test. I will need to seek His face, press into Him, dig deep in the Word, use my scriptures to assume victory over the devil’s tactics, and trust and obey the Lord. This time, I can see exactly what the devil would love to do. He wants me to get discouraged, tired, weary, defeated, and confused. Though I am in fact tired and weary from several weeks of very hard work, I know that resting in Him, trusting in Him, following Him, and obeying Him will bring me the result I seek – I want to pass the test this time.
I wrote so very recently about losing my faith when I get lost in my circumstances. This time, I desire to get lost in God’s Word. One thing I have learned about failing tests is that I can learn from my mistakes. I can also continue to study how to do right what I have in the past done wrong.
I cannot thank God enough for His endless mercy. God not only does not want me to fail. He not only wants me to succeed. He wants me to so trust in Him that I enjoy the journey along the way and share with others how I am learning how to pass the test I have failed in the past.
Thank you Lord for not giving up on me. Thank you Lord for teaching me how to move forward in you. Amen.
12 “Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Phillipians 3: 12-14 NKJV)