When Your Loved Ones Break Your Heart

I couldn’t have felt more hurt and angry, but then anger is relative. And if the truth be known, I had felt plenty more hurt and angry – for years in fact. I had learned long ago that hurt and anger go with the territory of when loved ones break our hearts. I should know. Looking back at my life, those who should have loved me the most hurt me the most. But that was not all. The stuff they had done, and the things they had not done, were nothing when compared with their refusal to acknowledge their wrongdoing, to take responsibility for it, to say they were sorry, to make any kind of genuine amends. That, in fact, was what hurt the most. I shouldn’t have been surprised, then, when I found myself consumed one evening yet again with all the old hurt – and all the old anger. It hadn’t just taken up residence in a corner of my mind; it had once again completely taken it over. Until –

The greatest lessons I have learned about when loved ones break our hearts are these:

1. God doesn’t just ask us to forgive; He commands us to forgive.
2. Our love and forgiveness for others must not be contingent on what others do or don’t do; they must be contingent on God.
3. Our motive for forgiving must not be for ourselves; it should be for the Lord.
4. Genuine forgiveness must come from the heart whereby we repent of our hurt and anger, utterly releasing it, and replace our negative thoughts with the love of Jesus Christ for those who have hurt us.
5. God will enable us to love and forgive others when we repent of our sins, replace our faith in Christ as Lord, immerse ourselves in study and application of the Bible, and ask God to help us love with His love and forgive those who have hurt us

Though I had returned to the sin of walking around with consuming thoughts of hurt and anger, I did not remain there as I had for so many years past. I recognized my sin of harboring such bad feeling and thoughts, I asked God to forgive me for the junk I held in my heart which also included judging others, I asked Him to help me to forgive my loved ones who had continued to break my heart, and I went one step further. I asked God to help me to have love and mercy and compassion toward them. By His grace alone, within less than an hour, I felt I could easily start crying for the grief I found inside my heart for my loved ones who did not yet know the love of Jesus Christ, who were headed down paths of utter destruction, and who did not know that they could live an altogether different way if only they would yield their lives to the Lord God almighty. The very next day, even as the old junk began to reassert itself in my heart, the Lord tugged on my heartstrings and reminded me of what I needed to do. Love and forgive. Just minutes after I had the opportunity to talk to one of my loved ones, I found myself weeping as I implored the Lord to work in their hearts and lives and save them. I knelt on the ground, tears coming, with my hands held up to heaven, begging God to draw them to Himself.

The Lord had taken me from hurt and anger to forgiveness, and then one giant step more. To having in my heart the love and mercy that He has for us all if only we would turn away from our wicked ways and turn to Him with our whole hearts and lives. He has given me His love for others – even those who break my heart.

If your heart has been broken by a loved one, yield yourself to the Lord, purge your heart of all wrong thoughts and feelings and your life of all wrong actions, repent of your sins, receive the Lord’s forgiveness, and ask Him to enable you to love and forgive as He does. Not for yourself, but for Him. Rest assured the blessing you find in choosing to love and forgive and pray for the very ones who have broken your heart will be beyond measure. 

Please visit Walk by Faith Ministry at https://www.walkbyfaithministry.com.


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