I had tried to write the article in my own strength, the same way I have tried to live much of my life. Certainly I exerted my own strength through much of my life thus far because I did not know Jesus, He was not my Lord, and I wasn’t following Him. But eventually, I was out of excuses. Why? I had found Jesus, He is my Lord, and I am following Him. So why was I still trying to live my life in my own strength? I wasn’t simply trying to write an article in my own strength. I had been trying to live my life in my own strength – even after I had found and started to develop an amazingly intimate relationship with the Lord. How could this be?
Simple. I have had a bad habit of spending intimate time with the Lord, and then turning away from Him – oftentimes when I need Him most. I have then tried to exert my own strength. Guess what happened? Human strength always fails – ultimately. Human beings can only go so far – and can only go so strong. My human strength always runs out. Sometimes it runs out at the worst of times. Then, I remember. I am not called to live my life in my own strength. I am called to live my life in HIS strength. His strength is exactly what I need to do HIS will.
Why couldn’t I write the article? Sure, I was tired. But that was not the real reason. I had left the Lord out of my writing. I did not acknowledge His presence. I did not pray. I did not seek Him. I did not listen for Him. I certainly could not obey Him because I could not hear Him because I had not even acknowledged Him. Was I even supposed to write the article? How would I know? I had not even consulted the Lord. I had left Him out of the picture entirely. No wonder I couldn’t write.
Sometimes I leave the Lord out of the picture because I am acting rebelliously, but more often than not I have simply forgotten. Sad, I know. But true. I operated in my human will and in my own strength for so much of my life that I have had to learn to break the habit. I have had to learn not only to let God in, but to let Him lead, to let Him reign, to let Him teach me, to let Him grow me, to let Him change me, and to let Him live and breathe in and through me.
Oh, such a very long way I have to go. But how wonderful it is I can be forgiven for my mistakes and continue to pursue Him. When human strength fails, what a fabulous opportunity I have to remember whose strength never fails. His.
I look forward to writing that article – in His time, in His strength, and for His glory. Amen.
Co 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”